Why compromise when you can get what you want?
How many times have we thought about what we really want and immediately scaled it back? No sooner do we set our sights on something we long for then we tone it down. Right out of the gate we compromise.
Compromise is not a bad thing in itself, in fact in some cases it’s actually admirable. Without the ability to compromise, you might be extremely unpopular. Consistently insisting on your own way is a real turn off. Not many people would want to hang with someone like that and their being ostracized would be understandable.
But beware of compromising too quickly – it’s a behavior that is suspect. People who instantly go to the place of settling, are strange to me. I can’t help but wonder if they ever get what they want. I mean what they really want. I don’t think they do which I find pitiful.
In a world where you must stand up for what you want to get it, immediate compromise is a joy killer. When people see that pattern they know they can sell you on anything. This practically insures that you will get even less of what you want and more of what they want you to have.
So how do we address this pattern of behavior?
Here are some simple steps you can take to stand tall and get what you want:
- Develop a clear picture of what you want
- Document why you want it
- Analyze what needs this item is going to fill
- Explore what functions you want this item to perform
Make a list of must haves.
- Be clear on the deal breakers that you’ll insist on having.
- Create a wish list – what would you like to have but aren’t planning to insist on them?
Perfect world scenario
In your wildest dreams what would you want? Get creative and let your mind explore. Jot down what you like and form a list. For many people this is a real challenge. I know my clients often start out saying, “This is my perfect world scenario, but I could never have that!”
That concept is soon erased from their mind after we break down the steps to achieving the perfect world scenario. The power they feel after that exercise is visual. This exercise opens up a whole new world to them and their dreams become huge.
Rather than compromising, they strive to set their sights even higher and learn strategies to achieve their biggest dreams.
Beware of compromise – By allowing it to come into play too soon you are setting the stage for unhappiness. Yours!
The power of how
The get what you want part of this starts with asking the question, “HOW” constantly. How am I going to achieve this? How can I make this happen? How do I go about getting the help I need?
This sounds pretty simple but in reality the consistent questioning stimulates your brain to find ways to make even your wildest dreams happen.
I hope you will invest a bit of time in this method. It has worked and continues to work very well for me and my clients and I think it will work for you as well.
Finally, remember beware of compromise . You can get what you want most of the time.
About Lauri FlaquerFor more than 25 years author, speaker and consultant Lauri Flaquer of Saltar Solutions has helped entrepreneurs and companies develop business strategies that deliver double and triple digit increases in revenue. Get the same results for your business - visit Saltar Solutions today.
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Your article is spot on Lauri. I work with a lot of corporate women who do this all the time. They know what they want but then they talk themselves out of it or talk themselves down. Then they wonder why they didn't get what they want! I always tell them to let the other party check in first, not to negotiate with themselves. It's all about mindset. Don't focus on what you don't want, focus on what you DO want. Thanks for posting.
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